Besieged

You are the hole in my head
You are the space in my bed
You are the silence in between
What I thought and what I said
You are the night-time fear
You are the morning when it’s clear
When it’s over you’re the start
You’re my head, and you’re my heart
“No Light, No Light” by Florence + The Machine, from “Ceremonials”

In the night, the voices echo: his, mine.

I am curled onto my side, staring blankly at the wall, listening.

I’d marry you tomorrow if I thought you’d go for that kind of thing…

I swear to god, if you let anything happen to you…

My eyes close. Open. Darkness, pale light. Haunted in the silence.

I don’t know how you do it, but you calm me down, every time…

I need you like I need air to breathe…

My left hand is open on the sheet, palm up, fingers curled, unmoving. My eyes shut. Open.

We’ll be old people together, I promise…

You don’t get it, do you? All I want is you…

There is no sound other than the whirr of the ceiling fan and the hiss of air between my teeth.

You’re the anchor that holds me to the ground…

You are the love of my life. You always will be…

Open. Close.

I never knew it could be like this, how it is with you…

You say all these beautiful things and I want to turn around to see who you’re talking to….

Inhale. Exhale.

Open. Close.

Drown.

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Beneath a Pale Moon

Beneath a pale moon’s whispering
I wander again through the trackless night
Trying to find the we that was
Love’s fool laughing in the dark

Beneath a full moon’s staring
Down this road the bright edge of madness lies
Singing of the ribbonless wedding that never was
And the promise never delivered

Beneath a waning moon’s slipping
I chase our history through the broken stones
Of crashed castles built on the love that was
Fighting through the stumble and the pain

Beneath a new moon’s haunting
Peeling sanity to reveal bones lost in the founding
And the shards of a future that never was
Splintered in the night wind’s whistle

Come the morning sun’s rising
Good-bye in the night bird’s last song
Heavy head pillowed on dreams of what will be
Curled around my kintsukuroi soul
Love’s fool calling

Sunrise in the grass