Dustin, tonight my brother’s first child was born. I was happy for them but it made me miss you so much. I wanted to share that moment with you, all my moments with you, and you’re gone and it still isn’t fair and it still makes no sense and I never wanted to do any of this alone. You told me we would be old people together. You promised. Now what am I supposed to do? I told you I had tried to live without you once and I’d been no good at it. I didn’t know how to do this alone then, and I sure as hell don’t now. I don’t know where I’m supposed to go from here. All I can hear are echoes of the life we should have had, see the ghosts of our future out of the corner of my eye. And it hurts, burns, like lungs under water too long.
I need the impossible. I need you back.